Tipping The Scale

Do you remember the 1st time you experienced something that was different from what you were used to? I remember as a child going from DC public schools to Catholic private school (and my family is not catholic)…talk about contrast. In the former, I was a racial minority one of three white children in class. In the later the racial contrast was flipped. I am grateful that I experienced such different environments at a young age; however, everything was different, like trying to blend oil and water.
I traded bugle boys for a uniform, jive for structured sentences, Jordan’s for penny loafers, and many more contrasting norms and values.
At that age the changes required little thought; my brain fresh and not yet saturated, absorbed the differences with little effort and I adapted. As an adult, the norms from my social identity groups (i.e. race, gender, sexual orientation, social class in America…) are ingrained patterns that I often personify robotically. To turn off the autopilot and steer manually requires more fuel and as I am shifting from one culture to another since moving to India, what is figural is scale and contrast….
For example, take the difference in money: the cost of dinner at an expensive American restaurant going “all out” would cost $100 per person, the same quality in India costs me $40 American for six people! I got what would have been at least $300 of dry cleaning done and it cost $30. In addition the tipping scale is very different due to the fact 60% of the population of India lives off a dollar a day. So unless you want a following (paparazzi style) you must tip appropriately to the scale here. I have learned that one the hard way----yeah people hear know who I am…which isn’t hard considering I stand out like one red rose in a bouquet surrounded of all white ones Being part of the dominant power group (white men) in America is like a fish in water. Nemo doesn’t even know he is in the water until you take him out...
A quote that comes to mind as I reflect on living in India thus far is: “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. As I behold the sensory overload of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, customs and interactions I find my heart and head feeling similar to a tennis match between the mores of east vs. west. It’s an exciting match however if you keep you’re eye on the ball to long it becomes disorienting and dizzying. In other words, my heart is heavy and my head aches at times and the match has only just begun. However, I am more alive than any other point in my life.