Breaking Free

Expectations and assumptions are the handcuffs that bind me to the jail cell of regret.

I often find myself embarrassed by frustration like a parent projecting their anger onto an innocent child. A wise person said about India, In order to TRULY experience India you must surrender to her. I reckon the same goes for anything, especially love.

I am learning…here are a few observations I would like to share…


Touch
When people shake hands they hold the embrace longer, like someone hugs a loved they don’t know when they are going to see again. The 1st few times people did not let go of my hand after what I deemed a suitable 1-3 second timeframe, I felt very uncomfortable. Now I have made it a practice, as it creates a channel for the energy of me and the other increasing our connection.

Heat
India’s climate is very hot. The heat certainly effects how people live and creates a greater appreciation for simple pleasures. A bottle of beer, water or any other beverage is presented to you like a fine wine at restaurant. Not for you to approve its taste rather its temperature.

In addition, the breeze in India is like a whisper for someone you’re in love with.

Eye Contact aka Staring
In the US, often times I would feel the gaze of a stranger and when I would turn to meet it, the stare retracted immediately if not quicker. One of the cultural mores that I was taught is that staring is rude. In India however, Eyes that breathe intoxicating fire and do not waver are beginning to melt my frozen heart. Initially, I was angered by the constant stares now I absorb the gazes and sense their harmless curiosity.

Eating
It is common practice to eat with your right hand in India. My 1st trip here in 2000 was the introduction to the custom and I enjoyed it. Many people find it barbaric or un-sanitary. I find it an incredibly sensual. It awakens the nerve endings in my fingers, I physically feel the temperature of the food and its texture and giving me a more holistic experience. The end of the meal brings a “finger bowl”. The finger bowl is a bowl filled with hot water and a lime wedge. It is used like a hot towel at the end of a Chinese meal to cleanse your hands. What a great way to end a meal!

My New Car

Yesterday I purchased a used car. It is an Ambassador (see description below) which continues to produced with the same body as it had back in the 1950's. In my mind it is a classic, however my Indian co-workers and friends are shocked that it is my vehicle of choice. In a country that is taking leaps and bounds ahead in development respective to its past, I guess they find it strange for me to be drawn to something considered to be part of its history.

The cars color is almost always white and I am having mine painted black to add a little spice to it. Pictures of the car will be posted soon.

Ambassador - "the first car to be manufactured in India, has been ruling the Indian roads ever since its inception in 1948. Ambassador, the only automobile to ply Indian roads for more than five decades now, has carved a special niche for itself in the passenger car segment. It's dependability, spaciousness and comfort factor have made it the most preferred car for generations of Indians. The Ambassador's time-tested, tough, accommodating and practical characteristics make it a truly Indianised car. "

The Meaning of Josh

People say there is a lot of meaning in a name and I agree. The Hindi names all have deep meaning. However, the supply of names is much less than the demand in a country of over 1 billion people. So, it is very common to know A LOT of people with the same name

I was flying back from a business trip and got a bag of goodies containing a candy called "Orange Josh". I started laughing and showed it to a hindu colleague of mine. He looked at the candy and said nonchalantly, Josh is a hindi word meaning energy and power.



In fact Ford makes a car here called "The Ford Josh" (see link).


http://www.blonnet.com/catalyst/2004/06/17/stories/2004061700050200.htm This is hilarious and no joke.

Shoe Security

I have been checking out quite a few temples and mosques and the thought in my mind before entering has been “I hope no one takes shoes". To ease my mind and be at peace I have incorporated the following security measure.

The Art of Living

The past six days I participated in a workshop called the Art of Living. This course teaches ancient breathing techniques, yoga, meditation and philosophy. It was a powerful experience and this organization does
amazing work for individuals and the world. They conduct workshops all over the world so check them out! http://www.artofliving.org/

Train Bombing in Mumbai

Friends,

I appreciate all of your concerns regarding my safety during this shocking event. I am doing fine in southern India about 1000 miles from where the bombings took place. In spite of my safety, this has been an alarming event for the country and its people. As I fly Chennai for business next week, I am a little more on edge than I might normally be. However the show must go on!!!

Thailand

After seven weeks in India, I was in need of some Rest and Relaxation. My entry into the India was congested with learning about the culture, surroundings, my new organization and role, finding a place to live, furnishings for the new crib (as all I brought to India was some clothing and a few personal affects), and overall sensory overload. I was thrilled to head to Thailand for five days! We arrived in Bangkok after a long day of travel and went and got reflexology massages that slowly drained the tension and stress out of bodies. Bankok is a very modern and clean city and the contrast between it and Hyderabad was apparent. The lack of omnipresent honking and people was refreshing. Not to mention the ability to get a cheeseburger and Heineken, something that I had been deprived of recently. The lack of things that back home I would have taken for granted made every experience exhilarating and precious as I knew that it was going to be awhile till my next taste of certain small pleasures. We spent our time visiting temples, touring a riverboat market, exploring the coast, taking advantage of little big things we cannot attain in India and relaxing on the beach.

Intersection

Seth is a pal who I came to know while living in Colorado Springs. A dynamic fella with unquenchable thirst for knowledge….He has chosen to take a year of his life traveling the world. Check out his blog and accounts of the journey! http://awayaround.blogspot.com/

Andrew is a good friend of mine who I have known since 7th grade and ended up going to college with. He plays and works in NYC and has a passion for music. Here is a link to a site where you can download some of his mixes. http://illjazz.blogspot.com/

Ed is my friend and colleague. I worked for him for five years prior to moving to India. He is an inspiring servant leader. Ed decided to up-root his family (wife Priscilla and 16 yr old daughter McKenzie) and move to Hyderabad without ever visiting the country…Talk about courage! Check out his story @ http://journey2india.blogspot.com/

Whats Really Going On?

My friend first and driver second, Ferroz has taught me much about life and India. He has a smile as wide and bright as the sunrise over the ocean. Whenever that smiles shines into my eyes it washes all the anger and frustration away that has accumulated like a hug from a child. Recently, we were at a stop light and Ferroz rolled down his window and gave a beggar some money (this from a man who has never been to a movie, which will not be the case in a few days). I asked him why he gave money to the beggar and told him about my stance on the topic. He said to me emphatically, that god is everything, aka Mashala in the Muslim faith and that it was his duty to help others in situations that less optimal than his own.
These beggars show up outside of stores or at your car window in many shapes and sizes. I will spare you the pictures, but assure you they are hard to forget .The images haunt my memory like lost loves...
A blind women; eyeballs gone, guided with her hands on the shoulders of a young boy in front of her, a barely teenaged mother holding a malnourished baby begging for money with motions of her hand to her and child’s mouth repeatedly, men on boards with office chair like wheels missing limbs and shuffling between the high-rises of cars….I imagine that you get the picture. I have seen and had profound experiences with these types of people in my past travels and my stance up until now has been to not give them money as I thought it reinforced in-appropriate behavior. Is it inappropriate to ask for money to sustain your livelihood? Or was that just my justification so I could turn away and not have to absorb these haunting images?